There’s only three things wrong – he can’t bat, can’t bowl and can’t field
As the first Ashes test comes to a close I am left reminiscing about the dominance and reverence that the Australian team once commanded. Whilst the Brisbane test was an unblemished batsman’s paradise and I will be careful not to be too rash in my criticisms, a number of things should be of concern to Australian cricket fans.
Our highest ranked test bowler is Mitchell Johnson, who complacently sits at number 7 on the International Cricket Council (ICC) official ranking system. However, in the last ten test matches he has averaged 40 runs per wicket.
The second highest Australian ranked test bowler is sitting at number 9, but Doug Bollinger couldn’t even make the team.
Since being named 2009’s ICC Cricketer of the Year, Johnson has been preoccupied with his model girlfriend, appearances in the Women’s Day Magazine and his new ‘sleeve’ tattoo. In a game that requires focus and mental strength, the vanities associated with this great player have impacted his game to the point where the POMS are recycling the infamous quote “there’s only three things wrong with Mitchell, he can’t bat, can’t bowl and can’t field”.
What’s alarming for the avid cricket fan, with a summer’s length of free to air exposure to this circus, is that the selectors are clearly showing their preference for the desired characteristics of an Australian Cricketer. Sure, Dougie might not show up with Bingle or Bratich by his side but at least his no-nonsense approach to the game will assure fans that he is a straight shooter thinking of nothing other than ripping through the top order of English batsman. He would rather amputate his left foot than miss the team song for a dinner date with Bingle.
Thinking of great cricketers such as Johnson and Clarke who have clearly decided to focus on their marketability, I’m reminded of Brett Lee. Brett’s cricketing career dived the moment he decided to focus on his music and Bollywood acting career. Three minutes later, he’s forgotten.
I still believe in the baggy green and one thing is certain, Australia will re-emerge with the same dominance they have shown over the past ten years. I do hope however, that Johnson and Clarke are included in this team. They will be too, provided that they realise the driving force behind the longevity of their marketability is not model girlfriends, appearances in The Women’s Day magazine, sleeve tattoos or their affiliations with various celebrities but their cricketing ability.
As Warnie has rightly pointed out, the Adelaide Test will be the biggest challenge of Ponting’s career. Even with McGrath and Warne, the last time Australia played the English for the Ashes here they couldn’t bowl the English team out twice. I sincerely hope they get it right and bring the Ashes back to Australia. After months of sledging my English counterparts I have too much riding on the success of this team.
C’mon Australia!